Music

I love music, and I'm so thankful it exists. What a wonderful miracle it is. It evokes so many responses and it does so very mysteriously. I taught the high school youth in Sunday School on Sunday and the lesson was on heaven - it was a somewhat typical lesson - humorous comments from kids, distracting comments, disjointed comments and I had to keep pulling on the reins to bring the horse back to the path. But, at the end, I closed by simply pushing the button on the CD player and out came "I Can Only Imagine" and the room immediately hushed and the atmosphere changed instantly. It is a beautiful song, isn't it?

I stripped wallpaper yesterday and music was my background - praise songs. I believe music can make any task enjoyable, any location excellent, any gathering special. The author of "Ninety Minutes in Heaven" - (he was dead for 90 minutes and went to heaven but came back to life) - his greatest memory of heaven is the music. He says there are no words to describe the sounds he heard and he longs to hear it again. I can only imagine! Music here is such a gift.

I've been blessed by music all of my life. And I am thankful for it. It is a beautiful gift and it is from the Giver of good gifts. Thank You Daddy!

Praise Song by Charlie Hall

You’re the center of the universe
Everything was made in You Jesus
Breath of every living thing
Everyone was made for You
You hold everything together
You hold everything together
Christ be the center of our lives
Be the place we fix our eyes
Be the center of our lives

We lift our eyes to heaven
We wrap our lives around Your life
We lift our eyes to heaven, to You
***

Paradigm Shift...

...is the phrase I was trying to remember last post. To know Jesus as the core of my life rather than myself as the core is a huge paradigm shift. Not that it is a new idea, but the actual living out of it is HUGE. At salvation we sing "Come into my heart, come into my heart, come into my heart Lord Jesus. Come in today. Come in to stay. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus." And the promise is - He does. So from day one He is the core. But still - my awareness that He is the core is in question.

How do I reconcile living my life and Jesus being my life? If Jesus is the core, what am I? Is it like an apple core being surrounded by the fruit? I am the fruit if Jesus is the core. Acts 17:27, 28 - God did this (gave man life) so that Kelli would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us. For in him Kelli lives and moves and has her being." So, I don't lose me, myself and I, but I do indeed lose me, myself and I IN him. For in him I live and move and have my being. So, I don't cease to exist, but my existence is in Him. And that is a comforting thought.

It is like sliding into a hot bubble bath after a day of strenuous work. Or losing myself in a novel or a movie just to experience a fantastic story that I can't seem to forget. Maybe it is like falling into a hammock on a gentle spring day and swaying in the wind, closing my eyes and feeling the sun on my skin. Or best yet, sitting in my grandfather's lap and snuggling against his neck and being still while he works on a crossword puzzle.

In all these images I am sinking down into, settling down into, disappearing into, connecting down into something or someone that is bigger than me, and better than me. It is moments of existence that are beyond me. And so, if Jesus is the core then I am to sink down into, settle down into, disappear into and connect to the Truth of my presence in His Presence. Can I do this 24/7? Can I be aware of this when I am not still and quiet and typing on the computer in my quiet time? Can I do this when I am in the midst of life as I know it? Can I do this today?

It is a beautiful thought, as all thoughts of Jesus are. And so...I will continue to purse His beauty in my life and my beauty in His life. These writings are prayers and I know He hears my prayers. As I sit on His lap and watch Him work.

Core

Core is defined as: the central and often foundational part; the inmost or most intimate part; a basic, essential or enduring part.

Brennan stated that the core is Jesus, not self.

From birth I am all about me, self. How can I not be? I am what I am. I am all I am. I exist as I am. And yet God called Himself I AM. So what does that tell me? I might think i am, but really He IS! I breathe, think, feel, act, move - every iota of my existence seems to be about me, me and me. So if Jesus is the core then i am not! If Jesus is the central and foundation, the inmost and most intimate, the basic, essential and enduring part - then where do i fit in?

It is a revelation to imagine allowing Jesus to truly be the core of me. The thought of it is very freeing. I am so burdened down by being me - somehow the image of me being secondary is, well...life altering. It is a shift in thinking - whats the term for that? More later....

Fear vs. Faith

Perfect love casts out fear. She who fears is not made perfect in love.

How do I receive perfect love when fear is the inner core of my life? How do I exchange one for the other? How do I walk by faith rather than by fear? How do I live out of Who Jesus Is rather than who i am? It all sounds so great, but the living out of it is the hard part, at least for me. Fear paralyzes, faith moves. Fear closes, faith opens. Fear is darkness, faith is light.

"The true self is cowed by timdity. Buoyed up and carried on by a pwer greater than one's own, the true self finds basic security in the awareness of the present risenness of Jesus Christ. Jesus, rather than self, is always the indispensable core of ministry. "Cut off from me you can do nothing." (John 15:5) The moment we acknowledge that we are powerless, we enter into the liberating sphere of the Risen One and we are freed from anxiety over the outcome." Brennan Manning


What does it really mean to acknowledge that I am powerless?

Romania

When I let my kids go to Romania, it was scary. I hadn't felt that level of anxiety in years and I realized it was the lack of mama control I had. I'm rather used to Joe being gone now that he's had two years at Slippery Rock, but to have Haley gone as well added a new dimension to my momness. Or lack thereof. To imagine both of my kids flying over the ocean and existing on another continent...I couldn't see them, facebook them, hear them, help them...they were completely out of my control. And I know that it was just another step in letting go and beginning to more fully embrace the 'empty nest syndrome'. They shared about their experiences in church yesterday and overall this trip was a tremendous blessing for both of them. Twenty children asked Jesus into their hearts and Joe and Haley learned first hand what it means to give of themselves completely.

When Jesus gets into a heart, He whispers ideas and thoughts into a person's existence that wouldn't normally have been whispered there. Who would have imagined that Joe and Haley would spend two weeks in Romania? Who would imagine that I would ever live in Williamsport, Pennsylvania? Who would imagine that I would live so far from my mom and dad? Who would imagine that maybe my kids will be called to some land far, far away from me? Who would imagine? Scriptures says that no eye has seen, no ear has heard what God has prepared for those who love Him. What will He whisper next? Each of us hear a different whisper, different directions, different dreams, but yet the whisper comes wrapped in the same Love and Hope and Purpose. So, here's to more Romanias for Joe and Haley! And here's to more whispers of Love from our Beautiful Savior who has plans full of the unimaginable in store for each of us. Am I listening?

My Movie

Yesterday Kenton, Joe and Sarah jumped out of a plane at 10,000 feet. I watched Joe and Kenton's video and it was magically wonderful, and seeing it on video alone was thrill enough for me. It can be seen in slow motion with Jack Johnson singing in the background. It makes me smile. I'm glad they were able to have that moment in time. And they can relive it whenever they want by just plopping the DVD into the player.

I think often about my life and how it could be a movie - it is a story, just like everyone's life is a story. We could each have our own movie. There are moments that are worthy of being on the big screen. Snapshots that could be frozen in time to be watched again and again and again. Emotions that leave us breathless, and decisions that might be lifechanging for the good or for the bad. Villians and angels...friendships and family...conflict and peace. And for the mistakes we make?Well, there is always redemption when we have Jesus in our lives.

I might not win any Oscars for my particular story, but it could be darn exciting really. Think about it...growing up with 2 brothers and our varied adventures...having a bike wreck and knocking out my teeth...almost drowning 3 times...grandad...Brenda...living in the Georgian apartments...Joe Allred...Jim Arnold...Russell Dirks...Kenton...living in Louisville, such fun - and along came Josey...then off to the north and along came Halesy...Cracker Jack...friends here and all of our adventures...the good, the bad, and the ugly....serving Christ - what a ride...

Would the beauty of Christ shine through in my movie? I honestly don't know. I would hope. But today is a new day and another scene in my movie will roll across the big screen. Though most of the time I feel invisible...I know I am not. I serve the God who sees me. He loves me and He has picked out the perfect role for me. And He will make sure that when all is said and done and when the credits roll, He will be listed as the Producer and the Director and any awards will go to Him. And any critics who can't appreciate my movie will just have to deal with the Big Guy.